Fine With It
by Tamarakv
Summary: It wasn't weird, until it was weird. They were friends, then they were more then friends, then they were just friends again, each in thier own relationships. Jess was fine with it. Completely fine with it, well kind of completely fine with it. Okay! eventually Jess got to the point that she didn't inwardly cringe when she saw Nick openly hang all over another girl...
1. Chapter 1

So, not sure where this came from but here it is. I miss Ness…tell me I'm not alone. This story is not bated, so all mistakes are mine…please be kind

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have in the past, nor will I in the future own New Girl, or the characters.

**Fine with it…**

It wasn't weird, until it was weird. They were friends, then they were more then friends, then they were just friends again, each in there own relationships. Jess was fine with it. Completely fine with it, well kind of completely fine with it. Okay! eventually Jess got to the point that she didn't inwardly cringe when she saw Nick openly hang all over another girl like she wasn't planning a future with this guy five freaking minutes ago! So, like she kept telling herself, and CeCe, and her mom, or anyone else that asked - she was fine with it. If she was being completely honest with herself it was hard to see how easily Nick fell back into random hookups with girls he'd meet at the bar. She would hear the drunk girl giggles mingled with half hearted attempts by Nick to shush said drunk girl, while simultaneously knocking into every item of furniture between the front door and his room, on these fun and oh so lonely nights, Jess would roll over pulling the pillow over her head and replay their breakup, then she would remember that even though she loved Nick and that Nick loved her, in the long run they would never work and it was better to part ways still loving one another, then to post pone it till they hated one another, and that helped her get to the point where she was honestly fine with it.

It helped when she met Ryan. He was the first guy that she was attracted to since the breakup, and she liked him, like really liked him. He was hot, and educated, and sincere, and thoughtful, and driven, and almost completely the opposite of Nick. When she was with Ryan, he made her laugh, he made her think, they didn't disagree about everything, or get into fights over stupid things like the correct pronunciation of croissant or why duct tape wasn't the best way to fix the leaky pipe in the bathroom. Sure Nick would pop into her mind from time to time, like after the first time they slept together. It was amazing, she felt connected, it was intimate and passionate and even better then she had imagined. They stayed up and talked in bed after, gazing into each others eyes, really getting to know one another, just having one of those moments that every girl hopes for. But after Ryan fell asleep Jess laid in bed fighting off thoughts of Nick, and how he use to hold her at night, really hold her, she thought about the feel of his hot breath against her neck as he breathed her in, how the rhythmic stroking of his thumb across her ribs would slow as sleep claimed him for the night , how she had never felt as safe, or loved, or wanted as she did falling asleep in his arms night after night, how she feared she might never truly feel that sense of security again. But that was normal right? This was the first guy she had slept with post Nick sex, of course she would think of him. As time went on Nick made less and less surprise visits in her mind during designated Ryan time. Then Nick started seriously seeing Kia, and she was totally okay with it, Not weird at all. In fact Jess thought it was awesome that Kia was basically Nick with a vagina, and the fact that she was loaded was really awesome. The way that Nick and Kia never seemed to argue or disagree. The way that he smiled when she was around, or even better when she wasn't around but somehow was brought up in conversation. So here they were, a year later, both in committed relationships, just not with each other. And best of all they were still friends, and that's what they wanted.

Okay, so if she was honest with herself they never really talked like they use to. Every now and then Nick might throw her an a'ta girl, or small pep talk and Jess in turn would offer up a silly song or story to make Nick smile. But they never got back to the friendship that was so important it was worth breaking up over. Whatever, she was happy, he was happy, and they still got along with each other, not to shabby, and most importantly she was fine with it. That is until today, Jess was fine with losing her best friend, fine with saying goodbye to the weird hot sex, fine with giving up on the relationship that opened her up to an amount of love she didn't even know her heart was capable of feeling. She was fine with it, until this moment, standing in Nicks room, looking for a sweater that CeCe had asked to borrow, one that she thought might be in his closet, and knocking down a shoe box, watching as a small and beautiful diamond ring had fallen out, bending down to pick it up, she was one hundred percent fine with it…

"Hey, Jess, you in here? I wanted to know…" Nick had no idea what he was going to say, because the sight in front of him struck him dumb, while the sound of Nicks voice pulled Jess out of her trance, she stood there froze, griping the ring, unbeknownst of the tears that were falling. She was anything but fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. I was going to leave this a one shot but I wanted to know what happened next. I have another idea for a story that I might do depending on how this story is received. Again, not bated so all grammatical mistakes are mine. **

**Disclaimer = still not mine **

All that Nick could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears from the force of his pounding heart. It felt like hours of silence stood between them, when in all actuality it was a measly few seconds. He swallowed loudly, his throat feeling like sandpaper as he took a step towards Jess and began to speak. "Jess I…" like a scared dear, the act of movement caused Jess to jump into motion.

"Hey there Mr. Man, the man with the plan! Sorry, I shouldn't have just come in here, I was looking for my sweater and, it doesn't matter, well I have to meet CeCe, and I'm sure you're Busy so I'm just going to get to getting, am I right?" Her words came out rushed, and she wasn't even sure what she was saying, she just had to get out of that room, out of that loft, before Nick told her about his plans to ask another woman to marry him.

"Jess, Jess wait." She was half out his room before she realized that she was still clutching the ring, turning around she almost ran directly into Nick as he tried to follow her out. She quickly shoved the ring into his chest, causing a low "umph" to leave Nicks mouth, as he caught the ring with both hands

"You might need this." Jess all but whispered without looking up, then turned on her heels and was out the front door before Nick even had the chance to understand exactly what happened Schmidt came around the corner, looking over his shoulder to the door Jess had just rushed out of as he walked towards Nick.

"Is it the 28th already?" he asked with a self satisfied smile on his face

"What?"

"Only two things can make a woman flea like that, either your unique blend of old spice and despair, or her lady parts are in over drive causing the crazy to come out, and seeing as you haven't showered yet, I went with the most obvious answer"

"I don't even think it needs to be said" Nick responded as he pointed to the almost overflowing Jar, then turned to go back into his room

**N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J ~ N&amp;J **

CeCe heard the soft rap on the door, she finished putting on her earring before opening it, shocked to see Jess on the other side. "Hey," she started as she stepped to the side so her friend could walk in, "I thought I was supposed to meet you at the loft, I was on my way out now."

"yeah well, you know, plans change. You make plans to get coffee, or go to lunch, you make all these plans for your future. Just plan, plan, plan you know. You see your future one way and then BAM!" she punctuated with a loud clap of her hands. "you wake up hung-over, try to half ass build a toy and then the bed catches fire and burns your plans to the ground, but that's fine because you realize that your plan wasn't right anyway, and then you meet a new plan, and even though you might want to switch to your old plan from time to time, you hear your new plan talk to you in a ridiculously sexy accent and then your fine with the new plan, so screw plans CeCe, screw plans and looking into the future because plans are pointless." CeCe followed Jess through her apartment and into the kitchen, trying to decipher her roundabout speech and watched as she reached into the fridge pulling out a bottle of pink wine and tipping it back in one fluid motion as soon as she was done talking.

"I feel like your talking about more then our plans for coffee." a strangled laugh left Jess' lips before she tipped the bottle back again. "and I'm just gonna take this"

With out looking up Jess spoke the words that she had barely been able to think. "He's getting married"

"Who?" lifting her head, she looked CeCe right in the eye, her own rimed in red and glossy from un-ushered tears.

"Nick"

"What? When? didn't he just start seeing that Kai girl."

"yeah, but apparently it only took a few months to figure out that he could build a future with her, while one conversation of the future with me leads to the end of our relationship" CeCe walked Jess to the couch to sit down, still trying to understand exactly what was going on.

"Oh honey, don't do that to yourself, your breakup was mutual right? Its not like Nick dumped you, you dumped him, it just kind of ended"

"That's kind of my point, almost a year together and then nothing, no fight to keep us together, no late night dunk text of I miss you's. And it was no time before he was sleeping with other people, and now this? Maybe I didn't mean as much to him as I thought you know." Lifting her hand she wiped away a tear from each eye

"Jess, Nick was crazy about, but you know, these things happen. People breakup and move on, you have Ryan and that's going good right? Besides I thought that you said you were fine with Nick seriously dating."

"I am fine with it, or I was fine with it, I…I guess I just thought that we were both so far away from something like this that I would you know…be fine with it, when that day came. But its here and I'm not fine with it. And sure, I've got Ryan, and he's great, like really great, on paper we're perfect but, I don't have that zing you know…that you drive me crazy and I want to kill you but I cant because I'd miss you to much, he's just perfect, like creepy perfect." CeCe wasn't sure what to do for her friend, it was obvious that she had been lying to her about her true feeling over her new and old relationships, she wanted to say just the right thing, but honestly didn't know what the right thing was. Wrapping her arm around Jess, she pulled her close, letting her head fall to her shoulder and placing her chin on top of the mop of brown hair,

"So what dose this mean, for you I mean." shrugging her shoulders and taking a deep breath Jess answered. "I don't know, I mean I want to be happy for Nick I do, and I want to be fair to Ryan, but I don't know if I can do either. I mean, its Nick, my Nick, and now I'm just suppose to sit back and watch as he makes a life with someone else. And Ryan, I mean should I keep dating him? If I'm this upset about my ex getting married I'm obviously not in it all the way, but I could one day? Right? I don't know, CeCe, tell me what to do."

"I wish I could, but I think you had the right idea." With that CeCe got up and went in to the kitchen and returned to the sofa with the bottle of wine and two glasses. Jess gave a half smile, which was all she could muster, when CeCe's phone dinged alerting her to a text.

_**Hey is Jess with you? She left her phone, and I need to talk. Let me know**_

"its Nick, you left your phone and he wants to talk" Jess took a deep breath and stood up.

"I guess I should just get this over with, like a band aid. Just rip it off and after I'll be fine Right?" CeCe just lifted her shoulders in a non committal way, not wanting to give her friend any false hope, and thankful she wasn't in her shoes "Right, yeah I can do this, I'm fine with it." Jess just hoped that if she kept repeating that mantra it might be true by the time she made it home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note - thank you to every one who asked me to finish this story! So sorry it took so long, life got crazy this past year, and last season started to kill my Nick Jess muse, anyway, thanks again and I hope that you like this final chapter, and that it was worth the wait. Once again all mistakes are mine….and sadly I still don't own New Girl.**

Jess had been standing in front of her apartment for over 15 minutes now, she had memorized every crack in the paint covering the old metal door, the way that the black "4" was slightly lighter then the "D" that hung against it, letting her know that she had in fact arrived home, arrived faster then she thought she should have. She now knew everything she could possibly know about that door, except how to walk through it. Once she turned the handle and stepped over that thresh hold, everything would change, Nick would tell her all about how he had fallen in love with someone else, that he was going to be asking that someone to marry him, that this someone was not her. She would have to smile and hug him, tell him just how happy she was for him, all the while she would be dying a little inside as she watched him plan a future with another woman. A future that he was so scared or unwilling to plan with her a year ago, that it lead to the end of their relationship, and she had no idea how to do that. She knew it wasn't fair to feel this way, to want to hold on to someone that she had supposedly let go of, she was there in that room, agreeing with Nick that what they had wasn't worth fighting for, that they were to different to be together, that the love they both felt for each other wasn't enough to stay together, that more then anything they wanted to keep their friendship. What kind of friend did that make her? What kind of person? Jess closed her eyes and took a deep breath, placing her hand on the door, She had not been this nervous to go inside since day she first meet the guys to see if she could move in. "you don't have to knock this time Day." she told herself in a self-deprecating tone. "Woman up, open the door and tell Nick you overreacted. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it" taking a deep breath through her nose and exhaling heavily past her lips she continued "you can do this, you can do this, get it together Day-ahhh!"

She felt two large arms wrap around her, catching her just before she hit the floor. "God! Jess are you alright?" Nick asked as he tried to lift Jess to a standing position, however, Jess was struggling so hard to right herself she was making it nearly impossible for either of them to get her into a standing position.

"What the hell Miller! We're just yanking open doors now!" Jess yelled as a cover for her unbelievable embarrassment, she finally got her balance and knocked away Nick's steadying hands, unable to handle the electric jolt he sent through her at even the most innocent of embraces.

"So sorry, I didn't realize simply opening the door was frowned upon, I'll make sure to announce myself every time I open it in the future and maybe just step to the side next time and let you fall!" Nick responded, annoyed at his friend for the short temper when she was the one that had run out earlier. Jess felt justly chastised.

"Sorry, look , Nick, I'm sorry, I overreacted -"

"Don't worry about it." Nick interrupted, " I know that scarred ya, I shouldn't have raised my voice, its just I thought I heard you out there and I've been worried about you, Cece texted me when you left her place like forty minutes ago and…"

"No" Jess said, now taking her turn to interrupt, "I wasn't taking about - I mean yeah I'm sorry about that," she said off handedly motioning to the front door, "but, I meant earlier when I just kind of ran out of here. That was not cool of me. I - I just, I guess it all took me by surprise…"

"Jess, stop listen" Nick tried, reaching up to rub down Jess' arms in that to familiar way he use to and it was more then she could take. Knocking off his arms, she brushed past Nick's shoulder with her own, unable to stand still for even a moment; knowing that the minute that she did, she would have to look him in the eyes and she wasn't sure she would be able to say what she needed to if she looked into his warm brown eyes.

"No, you listen. I don't know what got into me except that what I found, took me by surprise you know, I just wasn't prepared for it. But that's on me, firstly I shouldn't have been in your room, I didn't want to bother you, I had been promising CeCe that sweater for awhile, but still it was a complete invasion of your privacy. And in all honesty, it really shouldn't come as surprise I mean Kai is really great, right?"

"Right?" Nick answered, not sure if Jess really wanted one but wanting to see where this speech she was obviously trying to make was going.

"Right. And you're you. I mean you have your faults, like that horrible shirt you wear to bed, and your outrageously dirty feet, the way you mispronounce really common words, although I'm not completely convinced that's always real, I think you like messing with Schmidt, or how some days you kind of seem like a functioning alcoholic"

"Did you have a point or?" Nick said ready to get this part of whatever she was trying to say over with, seeing how her nervous rambling was not painting him in the best light.

"Yes, look, what I'm trying to say is, you're awesome, despite any faults you have, or I perceive you having, and its no wonder that you and Kai are so perfect for each other. Any girl would be over the moon lucky to have you, trust me, I know that better then anyone. I mean you're thoughtful, and funny and no slouch in the bedroom." Jess made the mistake of locking eyes with Nick, wanting him to see the sincerity in her words of how great of a catch she knew him to be. He was breathing a little heavier than a moment ago and there was a look in his eyes that told her he could swallow her whole if he so desired. She knew she had to get a hold on this situation before anymore word vomit fell from her mouth and She watched the look in his eye turn into pity when he realized she was still in love with him. "I guess what I'm trying to say is. You deserve to be happy, I want that for you, and if Kai makes you this happy that you can see…see a future with her, then I say go for it." she awkwardly bumped the side of his upper arm with her fist in an at'ta boy' kind of way that made her cringe.

"And what about you?" Nick asked, his stomach in knots over the possible answers Jess might give. "What about me?" she parroted, "Are you happy?" he clarified, Jess didn't know what she was supposed to say to that. Did she tell him the truth? That until this morning she was happy, or at least thought that she was happy. That even though things between her and Ryan were good, easy, simple, that it wasn't as fulfilling as even the worst parts of their relationship were. Questions started running through her mind faster then she could find the answers; should she open up to Nick about her true feelings or would that just be selfish of her, would it even make a difference in the end? If he was at the point that she was ready to build a future with this woman, would telling him what she really felt change his mind? Her mouth fell open and shut repeatedly as she tried to make up her mind. As the silence continued Nick couldn't hold his tongue any more.

"Jess, let me explain something to you." Nick began bravely as he took a reassuring breath, knowing what he wanted to say, and knowing he had only this one shot to get it right. Lifting his eyes from the ground to meet hers he continued. "Do you remember coming back from that teachers conference you and coach went to?"

"Yeah?" Jess responded, her brow creasing in confusion as to where Nick was going with this. Why he was bringing up something that happened months ago.

"When you walked in the door I could tell; there was this…air about you, you had that secret smile that something was happing and you liked it and all I could think was, Ryan. Ryan went to that Damn conference too. And then coach told us that y'all had kissed, and I knew. I knew that he was better then me, that he was the kind of guy that made plans, and thought about his future, and deserved to be with someone like you, as much as any guy could actually deserve to be with ya. And I hated him. I also knew that I had to let go of any small hope I still had that ya might, I don't know, see us, see me, in that way again. So I met Kai, and it was good, ya know, different but good" At the very mention of Kai, Jess remembered why they were standing here, why Nick was finally speaking so openly about his feelings. The ring. A painful knot formed in her throat, she tried to swallow past it, not sure that she could hear him tell her all the ways this other person made him happy, she didn't care in that moment if it made her a bad friend, call it self-preservation, she took a breath to stop him but before she could get her mouth to work, Nick continued. "It was easy with her, easy and fun. She never pushed me to be better, or do more, or try and reach my potential. And I was happy, or at least happy enough. I mean, you were with the British super star, and I was with Kai, we were finally finding our footing in the whole being friends again thing. Then coach came home one afternoon laughing, talking about how you had told Ryan that you loved him in front of everyone. I smiled Jessica, I smiled and laughed along with the guys, but you have to know that killed me. Not just the knowing, the knowing that you loved him, had actually fallen in love with another guy, but that you said it so easily, so proudly in front of others. It was a no brainier for ya. I mean you needed a run through with a rock God before you could tell me, so that's when I came to my room, and I put everything that reminded me of you in that box, and put it away so that it wouldn't hurt as much."

Jess was at a lost, she couldn't breath, and yet her breath was coming all to fast, she was hot and cold and every other kind of confused by the words that Nick had just said, there was so much she wanted to say, that she wanted Nick to know, and she couldn't for the life of her, figure out the best place to start.

Nick cleared his throat as the silence between them seemed to stretch on forever, but in reality was probably only a few seconds. "so I'll ask you again, what about you, are you happy?"

"No." her answer was out before the question truly registered in her mind, but she knew the moment that she spoke, it was the truth. "No, I'm not happy, I haven't been truly happy since the day we woke up and I started pushing you, pushing you to build that stupid toy, to answer questions about us that you weren't ready to answer, to make a decision about our relationship in that moment. Of course I could tell Ryan that I loved him, it wasn't scary because there wasn't even half of the feeling behind that word that there was with you.. Telling you I love you was the scariest thing I had ever done, because it meant so much more then just a word. That day, I think, I don't know, but I think that I wanted to hear you fight for us, to show me that I wasn't in this thing alone. I mean I loved you so much, I had never felt anything close to that before and I had started to just see this life with you, probably from that first moment that you kissed me in the hallway that night, I saw this future that included marriage and babies and home owner associations and it felt like I was in that by myself and I think I just wanted to know that I wasn't. That I wasn't alone in how I was feeling, that I wasn't alone in these dreams or plans or whatever the hell they were. And the more we talked that day the more we fought, the more that it felt like, like I was alone, that you didn't feel this overwhelming, all consuming thing and it hurt. The idea that you didn't want that with me, that all the dreams I was having was just that, a dream, it hurt. Every time you brought home a new girl, it hurt, every time I saw you flirt with someone at the bar, it hurt, a little less each time, so I thought I was getting better, and I thought that I had moved on, I mean not from loving you, I will always love you, but it got easier to love you with out getting to be with you or show you, and I was better. But then I found that ring for Kai, and it felt like my heart…that my heart was shattering all around me again and that there was nothing I could do about it this time, because you were that guy that could make plans and see a future, I just wasn't going to be that girl that made you want to do that." Jess was so wrapped up in finally telling Nick all the tings that she wanted to but held back from in the past, that she was completely unaware of the tears streaming down her face.

Before he knew what he was doing Nick pulled Jess to him in a searing kiss, he pressed his lips roughly against her moth, forcing his tongue between her lips as they opened on a sigh of surprise without any effort, her lips moved seamlessly against his, such strength seemed to be wrapped up in silk as Nick's mouth glided across her own in a familiar dance that only they knew the steps to. Nick continued to move against Jess, his hands in her hair and his mouth continuing its assault on her own, only stopping when the need for air became to great. He placed a few simple pecks just because in this moment he could and a he wasn't sure if he would get the opportunity again and placed his forehead against hers, taking a few calming breaths to calming his racing heart, among other things, then gently wiped away any lingering tears from her cheek with a swipe of his thumb. Clearing his throat, Nick spoke softly as he keep his head pressed to hers

"Jessica Day, if I ever, for one moment made you think that you were in this alone…I'm sorry. More then sorry, I'm ashamed, because that means that I wasn't doing what I needed to, because you were…are the single most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I never even knew it was possible to love the way I was able to love with you. You drive me crazy, you're a know it all, control freak that has to help people, and I love you, I love everything about you,. I told you before that I feel in love with you the moment you walked through that door, and I will continue to love you for all the years of my life. Whether you love me back or not." He brought his head up to force eye contact between the two of them. "Kai and I ended things about a month ago, that ring that you found…I bought after I got that money from my dad…I uh…I wanted to ask you to marry me a hundred times, but I wanted everything to be perfect for you. None of my ideas seemed right" Jess was smiling through the tears running down her cheeks, this time in pure happiness.

"Nick Miller, was that a proposal?" she asked softly teasing him as she ran her fingers down his chest.

"I guess that would depend, would you say yes?" Nick asked with a smugness in his voice he didn't really feel.

"No"

"No!? what do you mean no?" he all but yelled, dropping his arms from around her, and staring un blinking at this madding woman

"I mean that I'm not say yes to one man, while I'm still dating another. That seems a little inappropriate." Nick did a small half smile as he steeped back into Jess' waiting arms.

"I guess that makes sense, see I told you, you know everything. So how do you think Ryan will handle being dumped? Because I can tell you first hand, being dumped by you sucks" he slightly flinched as Jess hit him in the shoulder, not putting to much behind the punch.

"I did not brake up with you! It was mutual." Nick smiled and mumbled an "ok" as he brought her back to him again. "but don't worry, I think he'll be fine with it." Jess rested her head against Nicks chest, tucked snuggly with his chin resting her head, taking a deep breath, she inhaled the smell that was so exclusively Nick, that it felt like a mixture of home and happiness all rolled into one, it was the most complete she had felt in a year.

There was no telling exactly how long they stood wrapped in each others embrace, just satisfied to beholding one another again, they could have stayed there all day, until Nick broke the silence. "You know we still have to name our first kid Reginald Vel Johnson"


End file.
